We just returned from a family camp produced by Pact, the adoption alliance that helped us adopt Theo. Pact specializes in placing children of color, so everyone at this camp had at least one adopted child -- and the majority were mixed race families like ours. I can't tell you the feeling of relief and gratitude to be surrounded by families just like ours for a few days. It makes me realize how much I "hold" in my everyday life -- constantly being aware that we are being looked at and speculated about. The entire experience was so incredible. Theo was in the "Littles" kids group, where he spent most of his days with 15 other kids of color his own age and 5 counselors, also of color, who were either adopted themselves or who had adopted siblings. Theo thrived there, swimming, making art, taking nature walks, and just playing around.
While Theo was happily occupied, Jeff and I listened and learned from amazing keynote speakers, discussion groups and workshops. I got so much information about choosing the right school for Theo, as part of a discussion about closing the achievement gap for African American boys. I learned great techniques for being an "emotion coach" for Theo, and ideas for avoiding, and dealing with, power struggles (which occur daily in our household). I shared stories and ideas with other adoptive parents for navigating the racism and discrimination that Theo will soon face. But most of all, I felt so inspired and overwhelmed by the steps Jeff and I need to take to make Theo's life experience the best it can possibly be.
The conference ended on Thursday with all of the parents standing in a circle, holding hands. We went around and each person stated a pledge -- at least one thing they will do differently as a result of what they learned at Pact camp. I pledged to take an active role in Theo's school (wherever that will be) to make equity a priority for the teachers and the principal. It's a lot to take on, but I have to. I owe it to Theo.
Here are photos of Theo and two of the many friends he made at camp.
